God's go-to person.

“Lord, help us to understand the depth of Your ever sovereign sacrifice in Jesus. That what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh…” (Rom 8:3)

I have just been having one of those encounters with God lately, where I just feel him. I crave to just sit in silence with anticipation that He would speak to me. Me?! The creator of the universe speaks to me?! The very thought is so hard to comprehend. I go through these phases where I feel it is so hard to press into God and I'm so impatient with waiting for him to do something, anything, in my life and the whole time I don't even realize that it's becuase I am so focused on wanting God to do something for me instead of just wanting God. I don't even take the time to see that I'm giving no effort into my relationship with him.

Then, there are other times, where you spontaneously open your bible (to be honest, sometimes just out of boredom) and God just meets you there. He shows up and the words on the pages cut to my heart and make my circumstances endurable (is that even a word? It works in my head...).

Someone recently asked me what my biggest fear was and other than the typical girl answers, as well as, some dishonest boys, I couldnt place my finger on the heart of the matter. A few days have passed since that question and it dawned on me that my biggest fear, in the depths of my heart, is that God would pass me by. Not because of the forgiveness that I sometimes find hard to accept or the grace that I find so hard to recieve, but because of missed opportunities or failures to launch. A professor in college once told me that if you earnestly ask God to give you an opportunity each day to do something for his kingdom, that he would. Maybe He would give you a conversation with someone who was hurting, looking for hope or maybe it would be eyes to see past what everybody else sees and into the heart of someone searching for answers. The opportunities are endless and, at the same time, are in desperate need of someone to be willing to take.

I want to always be willing. I want to always have my hand held high before God even asks the question, "Who will go?" I want to walk without fear, pray without ceasing, love without limits, give without hesitation. I want to be God's go-to person.

This blog writing has been so interesting for me to have started becuase I have been able to see the process God is taking me through. I tend to go through valleys with God, sometimes your up and sometimes your down, but I'm still going through. The greatest thing about the valley is that when you are at top you can see for miles and each hill you climb is worth it because of what you see when you reach the top!

mmmhmmm..... God is good!